Struggles & Successes

Recently some of my friends in group 3, who just moved to site a month ago, asked me why no one ever told them how hard the first few weeks at site were going to be.  Looking back on that first year, especially that first month, I know how hard it is… beyond hard actually.  It is a personal battle of trying to find yourself in this foreign town, and trying to find your purpose for being here, a purpose to justify the struggle.  It is a challenge so much tougher than anyone warns you about or you ever imagined while filling out those Peace Corps applications in the comfort of your American home, as wanderlust occupies your thoughts.  I’m not sure if my blog properly reflected the struggles I endured, but my mom does call me her little optimist, and I always try to look on the bright side of things.  And while those first days at site were filled with personal battles, they were also filled with personal successes.  To invest yourself, your life, in your community is the only way you become a part of that community.  It is uncomfortable and tiring, but enduring those tough times is how you eventually find yourself.  Only then can you make changes here, and only then can you grow as a person.  That is how I viewed the beginning of my Peace Corps journey.

Peace Corps lunch in Dangila.

One month away from those everyday struggles and I’ve once again found myself in this battle of finding my purpose.  It took a week for me to realize I’d forgotten to downshift back to Ethiopian time and slow down my pace of life again.  And knowing I’ll be finishing my Peace Corps experience in one year brings both excitement and anxiety.  The endless possibilities for life after Ethiopia keep my mind busy, but my current lack of work makes me feel lost in Dangila once again.  I don’t just want to survive here for another year; I want to make the difference I came here to make.

After a week of feeling unsettled back in town I finally feel like I have my African shoes back on the right feet.  I still get the “ferengi” beckon when I walk through unfamiliar parts of town, and I haven’t figured out my purpose for coming to Dangila, but I do feel like I’m ready for my second year of service.  I know who my Ethiopian counterparts are in town that will help me to make changes in this community.  In addition, I have several potential projects that I hope to see come to fruition this next year.  I’ve been through the toughest part of my service, and I am certain this next year will simply fly by, so I am excited to see what 2010 has in store for me here in Dangila.